Hello September, Is That You?
A few journal prompts to kickoff September, thoughts on Keith Lee's DMV food tour and of course, articles.
Welcome to A Few Minutes, a wellness, media, and culture Substack by producer and writer Ellice Ellis. This newsletter curates the weekly best from social media and real life, with media commentary, content recommendations, critiques, and personal reflections.
It’s September is a gateway, a portal some would say. Summer’s not over yet; we still have 21 days of this season, but I can’t deny there’s an aura of cooling off and slowing down that strikes on September 1st. Culturally, we talk about September like your rich auntie who doesn’t play about bedtime and has a million stories about heartbreak, breakups, and setbacks. Outside of Earth, Wind and Fire’s hit named after the month, there are melancholic and reflective ballads about the 30 days. See Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends" and Ayoni's "September."
Summer flings are ending, and for some, school is kicking off. As the sun sets earlier and the weather grows gentler, this month often feels like a return to self. In corporate terms, we have a month left of Q3—it's time to review our personal or professional intentions and think about what we want for the future. September is marked by the Virgo and Libra seasons—Virgos bring their analytical nature, while Libras seek balance and beauty.
This month asks: How can I be judicious and balanced, orderly yet sensitive?
This last week of August demonstrated that balance for me. I saw an outdoor movie with Topicals, took Saturday morning pilates, took a trip to the Farmer’s market, scheduled a DMV appointment, spontaneously went to an Asake concert, pulled muscle, and ranted on Twitter about Keith Lee. I talked a lot, wellnessmaxxed, handled business, honored my 5:45 wakeup time, and indulged in more than a little tequila.
I don’t have much to say but much to think about this week. Beyond the question above, here’s what I’ll journal about, talk about at dinner with friends, and meditate on as we transition into this reflective month.
Does something outside of me define my relationship to beauty and wellness?
Where am I conforming and giving up power?
What is my personal blind spot; what have I been unwilling to look at?
A Few Articles (Links In Header)
Angelina Jolie Opens Up About ‘Maria,’ Her Operatic Life and Her Bold Return
We say, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' in this Q&A, it’s apparent that Angelina Jolie has been scorned. She can’t move from California because of her divorce from Brad Pitt.
She’s a breast cancer survivor and seemingly a domestic violence survivor as well. In this interview, she’s far from Girl, Interrupted—her scorn is clearly poured into her art, as seen in this week's release Without Blood and Maria, a 2024 biographical psychological drama about opera singer Maria Callas, set to premiere on Netflix. In the piece, she talks about her commonalities with the opera singer. This quote sat with me.
Why are so many straight men such bad conversationalists?
When I think back to the times I’ve felt seen, heard, and affirmed, it’s in conversations with my girlfriends, cousins, or even random women I’ve met in club bathrooms or airport lounges. My ex would constantly ask what my best girlfriend and I were exchanging iMessage paragraphs about day in and day out. His confusion about why we cared so much and had so much to say about each other’s lives, the books we read, spiritual revelations, and the space we created to share didn’t make sense. But culturally, it makes checks out. Women are socialized to be a soft place to land for conversations; it’s the way we even characterize a mother’s love.
This article speaks truth to how women are conditioned to be listeners and how we’ve found community with each other in being listeners. Here’s a quote:
The ‘conversation gap’ between men and women within the context of heterosexual relationships is a well-documented phenomenon: sociolinguistics professor Deborah Tannen popularised the idea that men and women approach conversations differently in her 1990 book You Just Don’t Understand, where she argued that men seek to negotiate and cement their status in the social hierarchy, often “exhibiting knowledge and skill by holding centre stage through verbal performance.” By contrast, women aim to develop connections, exploiting questions to “discover similarities and matching experiences.
I hate sounding like a boomer, but social media makes it worse. Men, already poor listeners, question-askers, and conversationalists, believe they know us based on our Instagram stories, TikTok posts, and fleeting thoughts on X, formerly Twitter. Yet, they rarely try to maintain and deepen relationships beyond surface-level internet stalking. I don’t meet many men who are curious about the women around them outside of manipulating their beauty, community, and light for personal or professional gain. See Drake, Lil Yachty, Diddy, etc.
In Communion: The Female Search for Love, bell hooks writes:
“When females are taught to believe we are more capable of giving love than our male counterparts, we are embracing patriarchal assumptions. Those assumptions shape the way we think and act in intimate relationships…the tragic irony here is that patriarchal thinking has socialized males to believe that their manhood is affirmed when they are emotionally withholding.”
There’s a (not so) quiet desire to be seen, heard, and affirmed, but not to reciprocate those actions toward women they’re in relationships with romantically, familially, or platonically. Men have been conditioned to equate emotional detachment with strength, which leaves them ill-equipped to engage in meaningful, reciprocal conversations. As a result, I’ve witnessed many men become passive bystanders in their relationships, mistaking social media interaction for genuine connection and failing to do the work necessary to build deeper bonds.
Kamala Harris and the Black Elite
If you’re excited to read what an Indian-American, former editor of The National Review, has to say about the Black elite and the growing divide between them and the working class, this is for you. I thought it was inappropriate and lacked mounds of historical context. There is a lot to say about intraracial class divides, the lightening of the "Black elite,” and the social pursuit of higher education in the Black community, but this article felt like a hit affirming outdated stereotypes.
Allegenicases aside, I don’t think you can make this “observation” of the community without the added context of the foundations of black educational institutions and systemic issues of racism and colorism that play into this. It feels almost irresponsible of the Atlantic to publish this.
The Bag Charm Trend Is A Tiny Bastion Of Comfort Through Craft
Bag charms are all the rage. For Essence, Skylar Mitchell wrote about the trend, which “are a carefree way to custom-signal personality whilst encouraging fashion enthusiasts to lean towards maximalist mix-and-matching. It’s too much, but not too much.”
Here are some bag charm brands I’m eyeing:
I can’t believe it's been ten years since iLoveMakonnen released “Tuesday,” I think “I Don’t Sell Molly No More” is the better song. Read this piece from Complex on the record’s impact.
If you’re interested in a piece from Mother Jones on VP Kamala Harris’ mom.
The title says it all, “Maybe We Know a Little Too Much About Lil Yachty,” from Andre Gee at Rolling Stone.
A Few Things to Listen To + Watch
I joined the over 45k people subsricbed to home alone, a Youtube channel dedicated to aesthetics and chill music to help you study, work or relax. This has been my go-to background music for deep work and flow states.
This podcast on art, value systems and looking deeper into what impowers us from Flynn Skidmore.
If you want to hear Mowala’s talk on the “WET’ tank becoming VLONE for women.
I love the solo episodes of Balanced Black Girl. Listen if you’re thinking about reevaluating your wellness routines this fall.
A Few Things on Social & IRL
It's the only TikTok on Cam Newton you need to watch. (Skip the intro)
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserMy friends and I attended Topicals’ Summer Camp event at Rooftop Cinema Club in DTLA. The Topicals Insiders event felt like your beloved classmate hosting a movie night—you connected with friends from her neighborhood saw your classmates, maybe met her cousin, and left with some goodies for the road.
Topicals Movie Night, anyone? I’ve been a Topicals Insider since 2021; their ambassador program and community-building initiative connect us through skincare. I appreciate how the event was equally an influencer experience, networking moment, and love letter to their community and loyal customers. I met women working on social and creative at brands like Glossier and Rare Beauty, fellow producers like myself, got some free products and watched The Parent Trap under the noisy DTLA sky. More brands are now opening their “influencer” communities and experiences to average customers or lowkey media, beauty, and entertainment figures rather than focusing solely on those with large social followings. This week, Business of Fashion wrote about brands inviting customers on influencer trips, mentioning Refy’s community-first trip in Mallorca, Tarte (I don’t think they have a choice), and Topicals. Read it here.
@priscillascreativecorner@REFY staying ahead if the curve again with a community based brand trip intead of taking out influencers ✨ This reminds me of alot of @TOPICALS giving an opportunity to members of their community to join them on a brand trip. Could community trips take over? What are your thoughts Do you think community trips should replace influencer trips. #influencer #influencermarketing #buildingcommunity #socialmediamarketing #refy #refybeautyTiktok failed to load.
Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserKeith Lee finally did his infamous food tour in the DMV area and, in short, said that customer service in the urreah was unacceptable and that many establishments were alcohol-based. He’s not wrong; gastronomically, D.C.'s (proper) food culture seems two have known extremes: U Street brunch culture and Michelin-star restaurants.
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Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserI think his system of selecting places to eat is flawed. According to the Washington Post, “Whenever Lee visits a city or a region, he will ask his 16.5 million followers on TikTok for recommendations.” How are these recommendations vetted? How did he end up at what seems like Oohs and Ahhs, which most D.C. natives or long-time Washingtonians wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole? The article from WaPo covering his trip also mentioned that Lee “usually picks establishments that aren’t glitzy big names. Instead, they tend to be spots beloved by their communities, often run by and owned by people of color." In his video previewing his DMV tour, he asked people to steer him to ‘restaurants from different backgrounds, different cultures, or different ethnicities.’” I was surprised he didn’t have a single pupusa. At this point, I think he also owes his audience a behind-the-scenes look at how restaurants go from social media comments to becoming part of his food legacy. I hope he has a community manager.
I struggle to call Keith Lee a food critic because of his lack of transparency when criticizing things. He throws around words like “narrative” and “constructive” to sound like he’s doing the businesses a favor by not mentioning them, but I think it’s a cop-out from being transparent about the experience. Simply explaining why he won’t discuss an unfavorable restaurant isn’t enough. I applaud him for speaking out about how alcohol is often pushed in your face at many of these DMV restaurants, with food being an afterthought. Aside from Keith Lee, I generally take internet personalities who review food with a grain of salt. I was raised vegetarian and recognize that our palates derive from a mix of our upbringing, genes, food sensitivities, pickiness, etc. Let's not forget that food criticism made for the internet often lacks nuance and prioritizes extreme reactions and engagement bait. Everything is either good, bad, overpriced, stinky, or dry. I consistently crave more depth and detail in food content creation. My favorite D.C. food creator is Anela Malik.
@feedthemalikDC where are your fave nachos? My criteria are loaded with toppings, has to have queso and guac, chips stay crispy until the end, and I despite a deconstructed nacho. --- Video Description - Anela goes to get Nachos at Mi Casita on 18th street and eats a big old plate of chorizo nachos and spills some on herself as she sits inside in a booth.Tiktok failed to load.
Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browserMy recommendations for Keith Lee (bookmark this) would have been: Pica Taco, Almeda, Hedzole, Hiraya, Spice 6, La Tejana, Dodah’s Kitchen, Highlands, Cielo Rojo, Elizabeth Pupusería on 14th, and Heat Da Spot.
A Few Closing Thoughts
That’s all for today. Thank you for reading, and please, please, please chat with me with your thoughts on Industry (HBO). Watch party, anyone?
Is there anything specific you’d like me to write about? Article recs? Please email me at ellisellice@gmail.com or leave a comment.
